This is Not a Holiday: The Pictures
Egypt
The lovely Gerda on the balcony of our Cairo hotel - what a sight for sore eyes
The mosque next door
One of Cairo's many mosques
Sulking in the Sinai
Sinai Desert
The Hypostyle Hall at Luxor temple - remarkable girth.
Column heaven
The incredible temple of Ramses II at Abu Simbel.
Knees up old chap
Our felucca somewhere between Aswan and Luxor
Not so pleasant in the midst of the Nile's mightiest storm
The Sudan
On the ferry across Lake Nasser with Herve (right) and the two Mohammeds
The 'bus' to Dongola
Riding up top with Jamal & Razzaq
Chillin' out at the Blue Nile Sailing Club
Lord Kitchener's Gunboat
Eritrea
Azieb at work
Gerda's new Tigrayan 'do'.
Our first taste of injera - "This isn't so bad!". Fools.
The road up to the monastery of Debre Bizen
The Hellbus to Assab
The gorgeous Susie
Susie having fun with my camera
Researching future horrors
The Afar homes mimic the domes of the landscape
Gerda shows her appreciation of our transport option
Djibouti
The gobsmacking beauty of Eritrea's red Sea coast.
Ali, the consummate host
Mini-guides abound
Frolics on the weekly boat to Djibouti City
Ethiopia
The gates of Harar
Feeding the Hyenas
Feeding G
The island monasteries of lake Tana
An ancient Ge'ez bible depicting the massacre of king Herod
Our Blue Nile guides
The Blue Nile Falls
Our entourage
Gelada Baboons in the Simien Mountains
Bleeding Hearts
Abera and me overlooking Geech Abyss
A local punk
Kenya
The lovely Wajir
The streets of Lamu
The ruins of Gede
The famous tusks on Moi Avenue, Mombassa
Stumbling upon paradise - Tiwi Beach
Our new mates
Relaxing in the tidal pools. Bugger all else to do.
Cheeky blue-balled buggers that raid our tent
The Unimog - what a beast!
Hunting for hermit crabs
Gorgeous little Lulu, and Leon
Stevem Dan, Mark, Jason, Martin, and Tusker
Uganda
Tanzania
Sipi Falls
Some other random falls
Our rafting team (daft Americans at the back)
Enjoying a Nile Special above Bujugali Falls
Kampala taxi-rank hell
The winner of the longest horns competition
Writing up notes on the Ssesse islands
A comfy night's sleep on the ferry across Lake Victoria
Zambia
Me and my mum
The unspeakably white sands of Paje beach
The endangered red colobus monkey
Packed and ready to go!
The seafood mountains of Forodhani Gardens
The fastest tortoises in the west
Two Kilis are better than one
Sunset on Nungwe Beach
The tame photo that started all the trouble
Nekkid chillun frolicking in the waves
Behind you mum! A lion!
Mud, glorious mud! Elephants at Tarangire National Park
Malawi
Doin' the Shake Shake
Washing clothes. On the beach. With a beer.
A cheeky Teletubby on the way up tp Livingstonia
Quite a view from the tent - just don't roll over in your sleep
Waiting, waiting, always waiting
View from the porthole - the Lake Malawi shore from the Monkey Bay Ferry
Overloaded? What does that mean?
Cape McClear Baobabs
Queuing up for a tasty treat at McDonards
Unusual pool mates at Flatdogs
My home for two nights, safe from hippos
About to hop on a winged moped and fly over Vic Falls
Most terrifying day of the entire trip
View over the Falls
Daredevil diving just metres from the lip of a 1000m drop. Nuts.
Silly hats and beers on the way to Bovu Island
The last sunset of the trip. T.I.A.